Redneck Margajito

This is a take on two of my favorite drinks--the mojito and margarita. I took my cowboy friends redneck margarita recipe and fused it with my own mojito supreme.


What you'll need:
12oz of your favorite American white trash light beer, such as Miller, Keystone, or Pabst
1 drop of mint/peppermint oil or spirits
1 scoop Vasoxplode, Vasocharge, Primal N02, or other NO2 lemon/lime mix
1/4 cup Rum (or tequila)


Mix all ingredients in a bodybuilding shaker cup. Or use a margarita shaker if you want to be all fancy schmancy.

Enjoy!

Total Cost: $2

Total Servings: 1 14oz serving

Vietnamese Seafood Porridge

VIETNAMESE SEAFOOD PORRIDGE

A traditional Vietnamese comfort food, often served for individuals under the weather in a completely bland form, or with fish and seasonings added for a side dish. The Vietnamese are a poor people who have mastered the art of eating for cheap. This is probably the cheapest recipe you will ever come across.

1 cup uncooked rice
9 cups water
1 piece sardine or 1tbsp tuna or other fish

1 cup chicken stock
1 spritz fish sauce
1 spritz soy sauce
Salt and pepper

Combine all ingredients into pot. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 30 minutes or until desired consistency.

Total Cost: $0.25 per serving
Total Servings: 6 cups

Tomato Basil Rice Pilaf

TOMATO BASIL RICE PILAF

What do you do with that leftover bruschetta mixture that you can't finish because the biscuits were too filling? Make tomato basil rice pilaf!

What you'll need
1 can diced tomatoes
2tsp chopped basil
1tsp olive oil
1tsp chopped garlic
1 spritz balsamic vinegar
1 tsp red pepper flakes
Salt and pepper

Make the bruschetta mixture, then save 1/4 left over to use in the rice pilaf.

8 ounce stock
1/4c chopped carrots
1/4c chopped celery
2 strips bacon
salt and pepper
3 cups cooked rice
1tsp white wine

Brown bacon in wok. Add veggies. Cook 2 minutes. Fish out bacon, cut into pieces and place back in. Add stock, wine, salt, pepper, and leftover bruschetta mixture. Reduce by half. Add cooked rice, stir till well mixed. Season with salt and pepper.

Price: $1/serving of 1 cup
Total Servings: 3 cups

Cowboy Bruschetta

COWBOY BRUSCHETTA

What do you do when you only have a $1 can of diced tomatoes and a $2 can of biscuits? Make Cowboy Bruschetta!

This is my take on the traditional bruschetta. Instead of using baguette, I am going to use biscuits, a staple of the southern American diet. This reason for the substitution is because I don't typically have baguettes laying around the house, but I do have biscuits. Why run to the grocery store to spend $3 on a baguette and another $3 in gas when I could make bruschetta without leaving the house?

What you will need:

1 can diced tomatoes
1 can fridge biscuits
2tsp chopped basil
1tsp olive oil
1tsp chopped garlic
1 spritz balsamic vinegar
1 tsp red pepper flakes
Salt-N-Peppa

When tomatoes are drained of water, combine it with the rest of the ingredients. Now I'm actually allergic to garlic, but it is absolutely critical in this recipe as it really brings out the "freshness" of the tomatoes.

Take out the cooked biscuits, cut in half, and toast the bottom halves. Spoon tomato mixture onto biscuit. Bon apetit.

Cost: $0.50/serving of 1 piece
Total Servings: 6